WALT write explanations

We have been learning about the elements that make up a good story.


The first element that we are looking at is using a hook.  Getting the reader
interested in choosing your story to read. Getting them 'hooked' from the start.
There are several ways to hook your reader and they are:


To begin with a question.  
Who made this mess? (Ella)
Do you like pies? (Alex)
Have you been to Disneyland? (Tutewero)


Onomatopoeia 
Crash! Bang! The fireworks went off.  (Zoe)


Interjection
Yay. Money, money money. (Mason)
Ow. Ow. Ow. (Noah)


Dialogue
"Mum, did you do the washing yet?  My T-shirt is in there," I said.
"I just started it," said Mum.   (Kayla)


A Quote
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. Dr Seuss.


A Poem
A Song
A Startling Statistic
or a good description of:  the setting or a character etc.


This is Holly's description hook.

The Jungle
In the jungle I can see beams of sunlight shining down through an endless mass of trees.  The trees cast large shadows.  It is so cold because of the trees blocking the sunlight.  There are paths leading this way and that, trying to find a way out.  There is the sound of raindrops dropping on the plants.  I can see rain drops slowly running down the leaves reaching for the ground.  All around me I can see trees everywhere, the leaves make it harder to find a way out.  As I try to walk I start to sink, soon the mud is up to my knees.  Arrrgh!  Help!

Hear Gemma's recount about our visit to the rock pools.

Read our memoirs
Remember that time ...
 (based on a poem presented at the Gail Loane Writing Course)

Remember that time

When we went boogie boarding

And saw a good wave?

It got too big for us

And we came to shore so quickly

That we fell off

And rolled in the sand

That was Summer. 

By Mason.

Remember that time

We went to the pools

And it was too hot inside?

We went outside

And jumped in the pool

And it was perfect

That was Summer.

 By Kayla.

 Remember that time

That we flew our kite at the park?

We went to our best friend’s house

To play

We lazed at the pools then

Got ice creams from the Dairy?

That was Summer. 

By Noah.

 Remember that time

Our Dad came in the tractor

And baled the silage?

And then we went over and

Thought ooh that stinks

That was Summer. 

By Zoe.

 Remember that time

We caught a humoungous fish

And it got away?

And took our hook

Remember that splash?

That was Summer.

 By Alex.

 Remember that time

We went on holiday?

We went to the beach

It was hot, hot, hot, hot

Then we went to the park

And had fish and chips

And the gull ate our chips?

That was Summer. 

By Lyneer.

 Remember that time

We dived in the cool pool

And we splashed about in it?

We floated on our backs

In the boiling sun

We turned bright red

Because we forgot to put

Sunblock on

That was Summer. (Ouch)

 By Gemma.

 Remember that time

When we camped out at the beach?

And it was low tide

We had to walk for fifteen minutes

To have a ten minute swim

That was Summer.

Remember that time

When we came back from the beach?

And dropped off our towels

We got a big growl

Because we had sand

In our pants

That was summer. 

By Jared.

 Remember that time

We went to the pools?

And it was so hot

Not in the big pools though

It was cold

After we got some lollies

From the lolly shop

That was Summer.

By Jemma.

 Remember that time

We were at the beach?

We had fish and chips

And a seagull picked up a chip

And we saw it and chased it

And Charlotte at a leaf on the beach

That was Summer. 

By Hannah.

 Remember that time

When we went to the beach?

And we forgot our sunglasses

The sun was beaming hot

So we went in the water

And it was too cold to stay in

When we came back out

Seagulls were on our towels.

That was Summer.

 By Kaylee.

 Remember that time

When we were freezing after a swim?

Then we would sit in the warm sand

With the sun shining on your face

We dug our toes in the sand to warm up

That was Summer. 

By Alex.

 Remember that time

We stayed up late?

We went on holidays

And played games

We went swimming

That was Summer. 

By Reeve.

 Remember that time

We went fishing?

I caught lots of fish

Then we went to the pools

That was Summer. 

By Breeannah.

 Remember that time

That you ate your iceblock

And watched cricket?

And Chris Martin got a hat trick

Then you played cricket

With your Dad

And he bowled you out

On your first ball

That was Summer.

By Jayden K.

I like to swim in the pool.
I like swimming.
I wish I could have a pool.
Brooke.

"Yay, yay, yay," I said.

I ran inside, grabbed my togs, towels and goggles.

I ran into the changing rooms.

I jumped into my togs.

Then I put on my goggles and I got 

into the pool.  

The nice warm water pushing against my body.

I love doing lots of things in the water but one thing

that I love doing and that is diving.

Ella.

Swimming is so fun.

See me floating like a starfish in the pool with my friends.

I can do a starfish.

Going in the pool is fun.

Jemma.

Today I went in to the pool.

There were big waves and I made them all.

The sun is shining down on me.

Man it is so hot.

I am so glad the pool is cold 

because I was so hot.

Swimming is fun.

I love to swim.

Hannah.

Diving. Splashing.  Swimming.
Doing strokes.  Freestyle and kicking.
I like doing forward flips in the pool.
I swim in the pool.
I love swimming in the pool because
we get free time in the pool.

Lyneer.

We have got a school pool.

The pool is so clear.

Goggles, togs and towels.

So much fun.

The water is so blue.

I bet you love it too.

Everyone swims.

It's like my arms are fins.

The pool is cool.

Holly.

Swimming
Hot in my swimming pool.
Having fun.
Backstroke. Freestyle.
Butterflies flying around my head.
Green leaves going around and around the pool.
Pool is fun.
The blue, blue sky above me.

Jayden K.

Splashing waves in the sun.
Have some fun all day long.
The water is sparkling.
It's a great time to have some
fun in the beautiful sun.

Kayla.

Swimming at the Town Pool

Swimming is so much fun.
Splash, splash, splash.
I do freestyle, backstroke, butterfly
and streamline.

It's so much fun.
Conal.

When we went to the pool
we had fun.
We learnt stuff.
It was cold like ice.
I learnt to go under the water for 
5 minutes.
I learnt to do a starfish.
Tutewero

I do back stroke on my back in the Hawera Pools.  
I do freestyle.  I splash too.
I do dives and bombs.
It is fun.  I like water.
Water is like rain.
I like pools because they are fun.
Reeve.

I'm here.  I dive.  Splash.

Guess where I am?  

If you guessed the pools - you're right.

I jump on the bouncy thing.

I run and jump across a gap.

I made it.

I run and do a somersault off the edge.

Splash!

I come up.

I hop out.

I got a flutter board.

Splash!

I like the pools.

The pools are AWESOME.

Jared.

Splash, splash, splash!

Brrr.

The water's shallow then deep.

I love doing breaststroke.

Freestyle is number 1.

Handstands are too! 

Oh how I love the Swimming Pools.

Alex.

I went to the pools.

I put my togs on

and jumped in the pool.

It was warm.

I put on my goggles

and looked under the water.

Zavan.

I stare down into the deep blue pool.

I dive in.

This is the day I've been waiting for.

Breaststroke, under up.

I feel like a dolphin.

Going down, down, down

deep into the water.

Gemma.